I have a real question to all of our loyal readers: do you also find Brad Falchuk and Gwyneth Paltrow annoying as a couple? I fully admit that Gwyneth annoys me like few celebrities, in that “love to hate her” way where I end up gleefully writing about her unscientific shenanigans. But I’m talking about as a couple: does the Falchuk-Paltrow brand annoy you? I find them very extra. But I think that’s sort of the point after all of these years. After Chris Martin and Ben Affleck and Brad Pitt, Gwyneth found a guy who wants to pose for cheesy photos and talk her up constantly. Why is that so annoying to me? After all, I defend Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, for the love of God. I guess maybe my feelings about Gwyneth on her own affects the way I see her marriage and her latest husband.

Anyway, it’s been peak nausea from Faltrow recently. They just celebrated their one-year wedding anniversary (with a selfie) and Gwyneth celebrated her 47th birthday in New York with Brad. Brad posted this message on his Instagram:

Today is Gwyneth’s birthday so I’m just going to say it – she’s the greatest human being ever. She’s not perfect – her sense of humor can be a little on the dirty side, she gets very angry at other drivers, isn’t that cheery before her first cup of coffee, considers dehydration to be a character flaw and improperly seasoned food hurts her feelings.

Even with all of these imperfections, her gifts elevate her – blue eyes that see the best in the people she loves and a tireless drive to make sure they see it too. Soft, hard working hands that she uses to make the most delicious pancakes and make you feel at home with the slightest touch. Extreme curiosity and even more extreme bravery to share that curiosity and the places it takes her with the world. She’s a relentless mother and step mother, the BEST wife, all of her friends know she’s their champion and no one wears clothes as well as she does.

She’s endlessly fascinating, succeeds at everything she does and drinks whiskey and eats fried food yet still manages to look like that. Happy birthday, Love. I know I’m not the only person to say, thank God you were born. I love you.

[From Brad’s IG]

On one side, it’s super-sweet and we should all be so lucky to have our husbands gush about us this way. On the other side… wow, Falchuk is really ON BRAND with Gwyneth’s messaging. “…Considers dehydration to be a character flaw and improperly seasoned food hurts her feelings…” One of the Goopiest things ever. Anyway, I still find them annoying, sorry not sorry.

Photos courtesy of Instagram.